Comments for Hmm

Comment on v2.0, C11.3 by nooboet

nooboet — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:33:47 +0000

o.0 You do so love to torture Kath, don’t you? And Geoff seems innocent this time…hmm, so who’s the knife-wielding assailant…

Anyway, can we here Geoff’s side? Or is it just a “I saw someone running, then I saw Kath?” kind of thing?

And ERICA SWORE! O.O A really bad swear word! At least, I think so…

Comment on Characters by nooboet

nooboet — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:24:46 +0000

o.0 I still have no clue as to who I should be D: *blanks*

Comment on Characters by jekloneo

jekloneo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:17:51 +0000

But the thing is, if I put more characteristics of the characters up there, this page would get really long.

Comment on Characters by (ac)coaster

(ac)coaster — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:12:38 +0000

it would help if you put more characteristics of the people. like since you have so little school scenes, we have totally no idea who’s in what, and who said what, and who has what personality/who is who.

Comment on v2.0, C11.3 by (ac)coaster

(ac)coaster — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:09:35 +0000

fleeing squid. octopi not so much.

and maybe you could be more descriptive in the running. like after longer strides, maybe puch from the balls of your feet, lift your legs, etcetc.

maybe you could make the wooden chair more pathetic too. instead of just withering, you could have it wither and cower. or shrink. or shrivel. or something.

and i the part where she tucks her legs under her in an effort to get up sounds weird. like people don’t really tuck their legs. unless doing turns in water or something. and you should state clearly at the start when she’s waking up that she was surprised to find herself on her back or something to that extent.

and if her whole arm is soaked, the drop wouldn’t be from the wrist. it would be from the fingers.

and i agree with jiayi. i mean, i thought vaughn was the jenny character. though i did get the bit about geoff. like he punches and bashes = bruises. and not sharp pointy things = cuts. it’s so nice to see him being portrayed relatively positively once.

Comment on Characters by phearsa

phearsa — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:05:26 +0000

so many people D:
well, at least i know that im 3 of them =.= supposedly.

Comment on v2.0, C11.3 by phearsa

phearsa — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:04:10 +0000

xinhui =.=
HOW CAN KAT BE SO INSENSITIVE WITH HER BODY!?!
She would have felt the pain in her arm already!
oh and there was this scene which i find rather confusing.

Rachel frowned. “He’s right. Look. There are no bruises, no… no marks at all.”
^ this i didn’t understand.

A door opened and someone stuck her head out of the dark room. “Will you please keep quiet? We’re having digital… Oh…”

There was a thud as the petite blond fainted in the doorway. Someone parted the black cloth that covered the doorway. “Bren… Oh my god!” The dark-haired girl stared straight into my eyes. “Ms Vaughn!” she screamed.
^ this entire chunk i didn’t know who was who. who stuck her head out? who fainted? who parted the black cloth? who was the dark-haired girl? why did she scream? and why did the whole digital art class scream?
entirely confused here. or is it supposed to be confusing from kat’s point of view?

Comment on v2.0, C11.2 by jekloneo

jekloneo — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:12:49 +0000

Ahhh. Okay!

I’ll put up a page on characters (click the tab beside “note.”).

*Flaps back.* How about guessing? It’s not THAT hard.

You’ll know soon. Very soon. About 5 minutes later.

Comment on v2.0, C11.2 by nooboet

nooboet — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 01:59:04 +0000

x.x Xinboon, I think you need a list of characters (for this newer version of the story) … with the full names :3

And I realize that I never knew who I was… D: *flap*

Eh, So her locker was probably vandalized?

Comment on v2.0, C11.2 by phearsa

phearsa — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:58:07 +0000

oh and yongie. i like your description of your heart.
though it is possible to polish it so that it shines and reflects light